Dear Korea

OK, I couldn't stand it any longer. Here is the letter I have always wanted to write to Korea. It highlights the good, the bad and the comical. Don't get your panties in a wad over it, it's meant to be funny.

Dear Korea,

First of all, I would like to say thank you for Korean BBQ. That shit is tha bomb. The fact you cut meat with sizzors is strange, but hey, it works. Also thank you for making it okay to have 2 or 3 courses at the restaurant and making it cheap as hell to eat out. Watching me clumsily use my chopsticks is rather embarrasing sometimes, but thank you for not having any sort of tipping system. I love the doorbell system for calling servers. Nice work with that one. Thank you for Dunken Doughnuts and Baskin Robbins somewhere on every block. Thank you for throwing free stuff at me 'cause I am white and I spend a lot of money. Random photo booths and game rooms are sweet. Thank you for personally escorting me when I don't understand Korean directions. Thank you for not ripping me off even though you very easily could, especially when I am passed out in the cab after a night at the bar. While I'm on the subject, thanks for making beer availible everywhere I turn. Thanks for touching my hair and asking me if it's real and telling me I have a high nose.
To Korean men: I am not Russian, nor am I a prostitute. Translation: I will not sleep with you. Please stop trying.
To Korean women: Rock that skirt and heels everyday. I can't do it, so you go girls.
Oh, and Korea, I beg you, please do away with the following things:
1. Hair scrunchies. Cool in 5th grade, not now.
2. Airwalk. I didn't even know this brand still existed.
3. Fubu. 'Nuff said.
4. Yelling "hi" in my face at the top of your lungs because it's the only English word you know.
5. Subway car salespeople that wake me up because they want me to buy some bandaids or gloves.
6. Pushing and shoving in the subway.
7. Shirts with a clear massacre of the English language on them.

Please make the subway go faster and run past 12am.
Please make the busses less confusing.
Please put more sugar in everything.

Thanks for making me feel like a rock star for the first time in my life, and for your generous spirit.

Sincerely,
Briana.